You got questions? We got answers!
First, breathe. Second, it'll be okay. We're gonna make this right. Take a picture of the damaged box or product and email it to us at firstname.lastname@example.org, and we'll get you replacement product while we figure out what went wrong. Maybe the driver took a corner like Dom Turetto in Fast 5?
Our grandmother could fix anything with a kiss, but don't worry, we won't kiss you. Yes, we'll fix it! What's broken? What's wrong? Tell us! Why are we all yelling?! Oh, okay, that's better. We'll get to the bottom of it. Start with an email, and we'll make it ripe.
Did your package grow legs and walk off your porch? We've been around the block, honey, and nothing surprises us anymore. Send us an email and we will get to the bottom of it like the Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated team!
Be the change you want to see in this world. And shoot us an email. If we haven't already slapped it onto the delivery wagon, we'll give it the old label switcheroo.
We're waiting with bated breath, too! What a weird word, bated. Very Shakespearean. Methinks I shall giv'st thee a bated portion of curds and whey, fair Muffet upon your tuffet. Anyway, type in your order number under TRACK, and you should see up-to-date delivery info.
It's like a box but more rectangular. Oh, okay, it's what we call a box. But ours are the coolest.
We send out non-temperature-sensitive orders Monday through Friday, and they may arrive over the weekend, depending upon the carrier. Temperature-sensitive items we only ship Monday through Wednesday, because we don't want them forgotten on a dock or doorstep somewhere melting or getting soggy in a rainstorm.
Our shipping materials are all curbside recyclable, and many of our products come in recyclable (and upcyclable-reusable) glass containers. Feel free to show your creativity in reusing any of our product or shipping materials in awesome ways by tagging us @mercadoavocado on Instagraham Crackers. Play fort, yes! Embarrassed anonymous sports fan, sure! Hang glider, ehhh, let's think about this...
Dallas, Texas. The Big D. Home of Jerryworld, J.R. Ewing, and the birthplace of the frozen margarita machine. We drive your package right down the Central Distressway to parts unknown and then to your doorstep.
If you clicked the wrong button or you changed your mind, just let us know ASAP. If you tell us quick, we may be able to catch it before it goes out. If the ship has sailed, we may have a tougher time changing things up.
We want you to be satisfied. With life. With your choices. With your Mercado Avocado orders. We guarantee your satisfaction, so reach out to us, and we'll make it right. If we can't make it right, we'll make it rain. As in: rain refund dollars.
Email us at email@example.com, and we'll talk to our El Jefe about your brand. Maybe we can make a deal. Maybe together we can get somewhere.
Quarantastic, like everybody!
If you sign up for our email newsletter, you won't have to wonder! Or you can follow us on the Eastergram @mercadoavocado. But rest assured--and we hope every night when you lie down to sleep, you're prepared to rest assured--that we will be releasing more products than you can shake several sticks at.
We like scratch-and-sniff stickers and artisanal dark chocolate, but if you prefer to use words and pictures, please type us an email, post a review, tag us on the Gram, or send a trained Homing pigeon with a cute little box the size of a fortune cookie around its neck. (Whisper, "Fly to Mercado Avocado in Dallas, you sweet, sweet, flying breadcrumb-scavenger!" and he'll know the way.)
Thank you the heck for asking! Mercado means "market" in both Spanish and Portugese. It comes from the Latin word "mercari," that meant, "How's your momma 'n them?" Oh, right, nevermind. That also meant market. Mercados are fun places! You should visit one sometime! Oh, right! You are! Right now! Er, ripe now! Why are we yelling again?!
According to Whitney Houston, it's "How will I know if he really loves me?" but Elton John thinks it's "Can you feel the love tonight?" Google thinks it's "What's my IP?" but of course Google would think that.
We answer IAQs via email at firstname.lastname@example.org. One important IAQ that we wanted to toss out here is "Did you know that Amy Schumer and Chuck Schumer are second cousins?"
We don't care for biases. Yes, those types of questions don't come around often, and sometimes they're not infrequent. But we like them anyway. An example of an AQ is "Has anyone ever eaten Buffalo Wings in Chicago and Chicago Pizza in Buffalo on the same day?"