Since about 1975, we have been in the business of thinking about opening a web commerce store. Only two score and some extra years later, we really did it. We called it Mercado Avocado, because that's what we wanted to call it.
Our fancy schmancy business operates in two very different cities along Interstate 35: Dallas and Austin. In Dallas, everything is big and flashy, from the silky hair to the shiny belt buckles to the swanky boots. In Austin, everything is tattooed, neon-dyed, and alright-alright-alright. Fun fact: if you have the chance to drive on Interstate 35, don't. It's crazy. Like a real life, high stakes game of Frogger.
Mercado Avocado's mascot is our Baby Avocado named Avo. He's like a regular avocado (ripe, green, fat-in-a-good-way, pear-shaped) but smaller, cuter, and with disproportionately large eyes. He doesn't use The Force (to our knowledge), but he can make cute cooing sounds if you tickle him. He was born on Cinco de Mayo, so he can make a fierce grito whenever he gets too excited.
When Avo does something great, his dad will give him a thumbs up and say, "That's Dyno-ripe!" You see, being Ripe is the highest compliment for the Cado family: it means you're 100% ready to go. When Avo is chilling with his friends, you may here him say, "All-ripe, all-ripe, all-ripe." (He went to school in Austin, and everybody talks like that there.) So the highest compliment Avo will give is "Certified Ripe." And Avo doesn't sling that compliment around like a bowl of day-old guacamole, you know?
Ed in Sales
Ed is in charge of finding new brands for our worldwide web (WWW) marketplace. Keep checking back to see what he adds.
Dot in Customer Service
Dot put together a list of super helpful frequently asked questions on our overhead projector for your perusal.
Bob in Accounting
Bob fancies himself a social media guru. Check out the newfangled slideshow he made over on the ol' Instant-gram.
Mel in Shipping
Mel makes sure your orders are loaded on the parcel delivery wagon in a timely fashion. Track 'em here.